gir

you'll never meet anyone else like me

.... and you'll thank God for it every day

wankerdoodles
gir
distillerancid
I was born in Dublin town
Where there was not too much going on down
For girls whose only hope
Was not to find a man who could piss in a pot
So early I heard my first guitar
And I knew I wanted to be a big star
And I told my poor worried father
Said I ain't gonna go to school no more
Cuz see I wanna look cool and I wanna look good
With my hair slicked back and my black leather boots
Wanna stand up tall with my boobs upright
And feel real hot when the makeup's nice
I get sexy underneath the lights
Like I wanna fuck every man in sight
Baby come home with me tonight
Make you feel good make you feel all right
I'm going away to London
I got myself a big fat plan
Gonna be a singer in a rock 'n' roll band
And I'm gonna change everything I can
Sorry to be disappointing
Wasn't born for no marrying
Wanna make my own living singing
Strong independent Pagan woman singing
And I feel real cool and I feel real good
Got my hair shaved off and my black thigh boots
I stand up tall with my pride upright
And I feel real hot when the makeup's nice
I get sexy underneath them lights
Like I wanna fuck every man in sight
Baby come home with me tonight
Make you feel good make you feel all right
I'm glad I came here to London
I've myself some big fat fun
And I have even made some mon'
I got the most angelic son
My baby daughter is golden
And I do what I like for fun
And I'm happy in my prime
Daddy I'm fine I'm fine Daddy I'm fine
Daddy I'm fine I'm fine Daddy I love you

wankerdoodles
gir
distillerancid
The stars are made of lemon juice,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
I wear my shoes inside out,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
My house goes walking every day,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Dolls go dancing on the moon,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
The wind blows backwards all night long,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Monkeys mumble in a jelly bean jungle,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Candy tastes like soap, soap, soap,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Monkeys eat the chimney smoke,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Tigers sleep on an elephant snoot,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Clouds hide in a hole in the sky,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Salmon slide down a hippos hide,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
My Teddy Bear sings out loud at night,
and rain makes applesauce.
(Oh, you're just talking silly talk)
Elbows grow on a tickle tree,
and rain makes applesauce.
Oh, you're just talking silly, silly talk
I know I'm talking silly talk...But
Rain makes applesauce.
-- Rain Makes Applesauce, Julian Scheer and Marvin Bileck

lifescapes
gir
distillerancid
there is something horribly wrong in this world....
something that everyone sees every day....
few do something about it...
most just talk about it, as I'm doing now...

there was a line i heard in high school that has stuck with me and every once in a while it pops in my head.

"the hate that hate produced"

its sad that i have found personal reference to this particular line. more than once in my life.

i truly hate the human race, i have found several individuals that i like, some i love, but on a whole i hate the human race.


everyday people judge each other, consciously, unconsciously, I've done it, you've done it.



my whole life i have ALWAYS tried to see the good in people, regardless of how many times I've gotten fucked over, no matter how bad ass my exterior, i always have given as much as i can and put up with as much shit as i truly can from the human race. i still look for that glimmer of hope, i still turn that other cheek.

i realized this week that, that goodness, compassion, understanding, naivety, whatever you want to call it in me is fading. over the years its has gotten more jaded, I've grown up some, but as of late it has taken a quick slide down a slippery slope. its dying a painful death.

this saddens me, almost to the point of tears.

music....
gir
distillerancid
i know i love you.

but sometimes it takes my breath away.

the whole day we spent together with friends, the sea of bodies, full of cheer. the were smiles there was laughter.
we sat for what seemed like forever, through it all there was comfort. hand holding, jokes made, pictures taken. moments saved forever. the music started, dancing ensued, it flowed over all of us in a wash of happiness. then toward the end, the stars aligned, i turn around and there is only you. the world held its breath and forgot to breath, or maybe that was just me? everything narrowed down to you and me. everything else forgotten, a feeling i've never had before, new and somewhat scary. then you smiled and i was lost, rocked from my head to the tips of my toes with how very much i love you. how much you mean to me. how nothing meant anything until you, only i hadn't realized it. you held me, and our bodies swayed to a song some felt long forgotten. you kissed me and i drifted from both time and space. i cherished every moment with every part of me, parts i didn't know existed. parts long missed from youth and innocence, and some that never existed until that very moment. eventually the song ended, we parted... mildly. hesitant to leave each others touch, but somehow knowing it would be ok. we held that peace inside. a beautiful day with a beautiful man who means more than the wold world to me.

wankerdoodles
gir
distillerancid
tired. feeling blue.
for all the talking and running around, carrie went and is spending a few days with her mother. this makes me super sad. jen and carrie are like idk my icons for what marriage is supposed to be. it hurts me that theyre feeling this way.  i feel like i should do something... i mean theyve ALWAYS been there for me when ive had problems and helped me figure it out. but im helpless. theres nothing i can say or do. i know its their problems and they need to work it out. it just makes me sad.

wankerdoodles
gir
distillerancid
amid the turmoil i am happy.

im sick but bens sicker......
gir
distillerancid
blahhhh i feel poopy.

ben went to bed and im bored.

cars still broken so im stuck here.

boo hisshiss boo.

tired but not sleep tired.

i love the little things in life.

shaved my legs with a brand spanking neww razor.... loves it!!!

tired sore blah.....


im still struck several times a day with how fucking lucky i am....

i hope this feeling never goes away

i fucking hate that stupid fucking "i love college" song... its fucking stupid!!!


some day i miss being a teenager, sad but true.

no responsability

the only problems i had seemed trivial now.

im tried of being a grown up

but i love it at the same time.


~~~ i love waking up next to him in the morning

pms blues....
gir
distillerancid
"The Perfect Fit"

I could make a dress
A robe fit for a prince
I could clothe a continent
But i can't sew a stitch

I can paint my face
And stand very very still
Its not very practical
But it still pays the bills

I can't change my name
But i could be your type
I can dance and win at games
Like backgammon and life

I used to be the smart one
Sharp as a tack
Funny how that skipping years ahead
Has held me back

I used to be the bright one
Top in my class
Funny what they give you when you
Just learn how to ask

I can write a song
But i cant sing in key
I can play piano
But i never learned to read

I can't trap a mouse
But i can pet a cat
No i'm really serious!
I'm really very good at that

I can't fix a car
But i can fix a flat
I could fix alot of things
But i'd rather not get into that

I used to be the bright one
Smart as a whip
Funny how you slip so far when
Teachers dont keep track of it

I used to be the tight one
The perfect fit
Funny how those compliments can
Make you feel so full of it

I can shuffle cut and deal
But i can't draw a hand
I can't draw a lot of things
I hope you understand
I'm not exceptionally shy
But i've never had a man
That i could look straight in the eye
And tell my secret plans

I can take a vow
And i can wear a ring
And i can make you promises but
They won't mean a thing

Can't you do it for me, i'll pay you well
Fuck i'll pay you anything if you could end this

Can't you just fix it for me, it's gone berserk...
Fuck i'll give you anything if
You can make the damn thing work

Can't you just fix it for me, ill pay you well,
Fuck ill pay you anything
If you can end this
Hello, i love you will you tell me your name?
Hello, i'm good for nothing - will you love me just the same?


well...... yay me
gir
distillerancid
i still cant get over it.

nope nope nope

once again he did something that totally floored me

something that no one has ever Ben able to do.... ever...

i love him so.

~~PuzZle pEacEs~~

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

not quite bed time.....
gir
distillerancid
well....
here i am
still feel like yelling from the rooftops
problems still going on, bills to be paid
landlord to be paid
and hours severly cut so VERY little income
until i find another job

but.....
i am still so indescribably happy
i wake up feeling like im floating on air
it keeps hitting me
how lucky i am
how happy i am

he's...
just so very wonderful
so amazingly perfect for me
he makes me so happy

i can't help but count my blessings every day
ive never felt this content with my life.
never.

i smile all the time now.
full out shit eatin grin.
and cant help it.

thank God.
i hope to hold onto this feeling forever.
my heart is so light
the world is so great.


ok. im done.

well at least here.

before i get to sappy.

...... yeah.....

*grin*

?

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